TMI

Too much information is probably what I’m best known for… but no one reads this, and if you are, you don’t know me from a bar of soap. Today I went to the GP for a script for the contraceptive pill. Not for that reason, no… a boyfriend or sexual partner has not just magiced themselves into my life overnight… I’m sick of my period being so irregular, it’s either twice a month, or not at all for ten weeks. Do you know how hard that is to plan around? I know, it’s not a big deal – but it’s just a pain in the… well, you get the idea.

When the doctor and I were talking, she came out with the question “Do you want a family one day?” Sometimes its hard not to continue lying to yourself, and everyone around you. YES, okay I want a family one day. YES, that will mean I have to meet someone first. YES, that means I can’t keep up this no kids charade for the rest of my life. YES, the clock is ticking. She reminded me that I’m young, that there is plenty of time for everything to fall in to place. I don’t know who she’s kidding, I’m almost 27, I haven’t had a boyfriend, or a date in 5 + years, I don’t even know where to start anymore… it was actually easier back in high school, there were three options back then – why did I pick the wrong one?

Then she says she’d like to do some more tests. I hate that line. You know that’s when life gets even more expensive than keeping yourself upright on any standard day. Blood tests and a pelvic ultrasound, try to remain relaxed when they’re taking the blood, because one of the tests is a stress hormone. Get these tests done, get the pill script made up, we’ll check the results in a couple of weeks. Seems reasonable. Then she says ‘it could be something like PCOS’ and the tears start. I have a very close friend who has PCOS. I hate watching her go through it, she struggles with her mental health, finally got pregnant, had a tough pregnancy and even now, with a four week old baby – is having troubles with the little tacker’s health. Life’s not fair. I don’t want any other health conditions – I am coeliac, I have crohn’s disease, I’m lactose intolerant. I react badly to broccoli for crying out loud. Please don’t throw anything else at me.

Stupid me, came back to work and googled PCOS symptoms didn’t I? I mean, really – google is my nemesis. Thinning, dropping hair. Facial hair growth. Emotions. Mood swings. Irregular periods. Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick. Why can’t I just go through life like so many other people do, without a care in the world?

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